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"She Laughs Without Fear of the Future"

"God has placed the best things in life on the other side of fear." (Will Smith)

Man. What a summer. This summer I got to go on my first mission trip. And I just want to share a little testimony about my experience.

I am a very shy person. Very. Shy. I tend to be the one, kind of sitting off to the side, avoiding conversation and...socialness. (Hello, social anxiety.) I don't like being outside of my comfort zone. I love my comfort zone; it's comfortable. That being said...I certainly did not want to go on this trip. It was wayyyy out of my comfort zone. Now, my youth leader has been wanting me to go for the past two years and I knew she was super excited because this year I was finally eligible. "You are going." She would tell me everytime it was brought up.

We started having our meetings on Wednesday nights. I was at every one, (Well, except for one but I didn't have a choice.) Three weeks until we leave we started having meetings on Sunday afternoons. We had two Sunday meetings planned before we had to go. The first one was two weeks away from the trip. I couldn't even think of it. I was fearful, anxious, you name it. I was about the whole trip and it was coming up so fast. I am 99.9% positive that I made myself sick that Sunday--not intentionally. I called my youth leader and told her I wasn't going to make it. The next (and last; we were leaving that Friday) meeting I went to and I was shaking through the entire meeting. So nervous about it.

Friday morning came. We were t meet at the church at 9-9:30. (Mom practically pushed me out of the car.) Before my mom left, I had her write a verse on my arm that I had stumbled (Hello, divine intervention.) across the night before. That verse was Proverbs 31;25, "She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." I decided that this verse would be my anthem for the week. (It's now my favourite verse. "She laughs without fear of the future." That's what I wanted! To laugh without fear of the future!

I didn't do an A+ job at it; I still caught myself fearing the future. But, as the week went on, I could feel most of my anxiety and fear crumble. I came out of my shell a lot more. And even coming home I felt a huge difference in my life. (And also my walk with the Lord.) So...B+.

Seeing those kids in that community, getting to have a small role in their lives to share the Good News was really amazing and I cannot wait to go back next year.

Here is my big takeaway and my main point for writing this blog...being a follower of Christ, being a Christian, is going to be out of your comfort zone at one point or another. It requires being out of your comfort zone. Living in fear and anxiety is no way to live and it's certainly not how God wants us to live. Follow God and His plan for your life and everything will turn out to be just fine. I'm talking to myself too because I still worry and I still get nervous. But...

I have found more confidence in Him through this experience and I am forever grateful to my parents who pushed me to go instead of listening to me when I said I didn't want to. And to my youth leaders for believing in me and just pushing me a little further. And my youth group, the small team that was with me...I love all of you so much and I'm so glad I got to share this experience with you guys.

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